Marriage Has The Worst PR
#MoneyMonday Stories
Just like they say, better late than never right? so Happy New Year to you too!
It’s on a Tuesday evening, and I’m seated in the cab on my way home, the rain is pouring heavily, and I can’t help but think to myself, what the hell? I’ve never seen a January like this, short and rainy.
See, in some African traditions, rain is often seen as a good omen, so here’s to hoping that this year turns out bearable despite the chaos with Trump’s presidency and Kasongo’s reign.
Now, get your bible ready, because today’s sermon is about marriage and finances. In my 20 years something years of existence, I’ve read countless books and articles on these topics. But let’s be real who’s out here getting practical advice on managing finances in marriage?
Recently, I came across an Insta stories post by Just Ivy Africa. (That babe is the real deal. She shares incredible tips on finances and investments mostly with women) The topic was #MoneyMonday: Hiding money and investments from your spouse or family — How much?
The responses? Absolute madness but also very enlightening. Many women admitted they don’t disclose their earnings, savings, or investments to their partners. Are their reasons being infidelity, mistrust, or just plain self-preservation plus sio lazima mpoa ajue?
They also mentioned that as a couple you can have Individual and collective Investments. Like there’s like beside the two of you which kinda made sense in a way.
Men, on the other hand, often keep their finances a secret out of fear their wives might harm them to claim the wealth. It sounds extreme, but it’s a real fear for some. We have had cases where it’s believed that a woman murdered her husband so she can have all his wealth to herself.
The downside of people dying without disclosing their investments is that their assets often end up in the wrong hands. Imagine having rental properties, only for the caretaker to become the “owner” because no one else knew about them. Meanwhile, the family might end up on the streets because they were unaware as well. Heartbreaking, right?
From the stories we hear and the posts influencers share online — those relationship goals, family Christmas photos, and the advice they give — it seems like most of them aren’t true. There’s more to marriage than we think or see.
Remember This Is Love by Julz podcast, featuring the Bumby and Scarlet story about young marriage, finances, and violence? It’s a clear indication that a lot is needed for a successful marriage. If you’re not mature and forgiving, marriage might not be for you. (This is not to say that there aren’t better marriages out there.)
What are the Lessons:
- Marriage Is Not Just for Richer or Poorer The harsh truth is, once money is off the table and there’s nothing left to give, love often takes a backseat. Financial stability plays a significant role in sustaining a marriage.
Financial Literacy Is a Must Imagine if everyone was aware of their finances and knew how to manage them properly. It could save countless relationships and marriages. Learning about budgeting, saving, and investing should be a priority for anyone considering marriage.
3. Trust Is Everything Once trust is broken, especially in cases of infidelity, it’s tough to rebuild. Be careful when your partner says they forgive you after cheating on them. No one forgives Infidelity ever, The scars linger with distrust, fear, and disrespect often leading to separation. Trust, therefore, is a cornerstone for any healthy relationship.
4. Women and Financial Independence: Remember there were days when women belonged in the kitchen, couldn’t work, vote or even open bank accounts, well things have changed. Well, they are woke now and have investments in **bonds, foreign accounts, money market funds, land, and rental properties. Why? Because they’re unsure of what the future holds. One of the ladies said that she is the current owner of the house they are living in and the husband pays rent even though he’s jobless.
5. Be Careful Who You Marry: Some women admitted they don’t hate their husbands but fear their family might throw them out if anything happened to them. To protect themselves and their children, they’ve chosen to put something aside for when the time comes because who wants to be a single mother with little minions to raise ( No offence)
6. Open Communication Is Key Many couples enter marriage or relationships without discussing critical issues: future goals, finances, sexuality, and more. When expectations aren’t met, problems arise. Honest conversations can prevent misunderstandings and build stronger partnerships.
The Reality Check
Truth be told, no one wants to suffer, we all want the good things in life, the bigger houses, luxury cars, glamorous photos, exotic travels and so on without considering what goes on behind closed doors. Like, we are so focused on other people’s lives without understanding that everyone’s journey is different and being aware of how blessed we are with the little we have is the real #flex.
Final Thoughts
In my honest opinion, I don’t think marriage is just about love but more of a partnership with shared goals, and mutual respect. Finances play a critical role, and so does communication. A certain lady in a podcast shared how she has a list of questions to ask the partner before marriage and everyone laughed but I think she was super right.
For anyone one of us considering marriage, take the time to learn about financial management, and discuss your expectations.
Remember, life isn’t always what it seems on Instagram, but with the right mindset and effort, you can create a relationship that’s intentional and fulfilling, you owe it to your children to make wise decisions.
Here are some things to look out for in matters of money, Bonds, Offshore accounts, BTC, Land, Shares, Emergency Funds, Investments, IF Bond, Mansa X, Mutual Funds, MMF Funds, Fixed Deposits e.t.c
Lastly
I am not a marriage expert, In fact, I have never been married these are just my two cents.
Till the next sermon — Adios! ✨
