Kindukulu (Weed ) & Overthinking!
#TuesdayAffirmation
I am an overthinker. When things get too deep for me, I tend to hold on to them so tightly that I can’t think straight until they’re resolved. Sometimes, even sleeping becomes a problem — I’ll owl through the night, staring at the ceiling, my mind running marathons. Imagine praying, but instead of focusing on the prayer, your brain is busy dissecting the “what” and “why” of everything.
I remember once asking a friend how they just shut things off and fall asleep without a care in the world. Their response? “I just stop thinking about it.”
See, I know they were being honest, but my dear friend, this is not what you tell an overthinker (eti wewe block tu 😂). I’m already in my head; what exactly am I supposed to be blocking? So, I took it upon myself to find a solution.
The (Failed) Experiments
So I took it upon myself to figure out what to do, because something must be done, hatuwezi ishi hivi.
First I tried Reading books Before Bed (Hard copy) This only made things worse because now I was doing two things at once, reading and overthinking, Fantastic!
Second, tried the No Phone 40 Minutes Before Sleep, My God, I almost died. If not for TikTok, where I got trapped till 6 AM despite having work the next day, where showed up like a zombie.
Third, I tried the medication way Taking Piriton and Yhooo! I had to take it at 6 PM just to be asleep by 11 PM… with a solid window of overthinking in between 6 hours to be precise.
Fourth, I love Gyming, so I thought, why not sign up for evening classes, like cardio, Zumba, and steps ninini hivi, this is after someone told me my body wasn’t tired enough to just shut down. So, I went to the gym every evening after work or school. The result? Sore legs, a lazy body, and still, zero sleep. There were days that I could walk, especially going down a ramp.
Lastly, I smoked Weed (Yeah, go on, judge me 😂 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged Matt 7:1) My people, this was like adding gasoline to a fire. Not only was I overthinking, but I also became anxious, headache etc. At some point, I thought the police were at my door, the house seemed upside down, and I almost jumped out of a 6th-floor balcony. Not to mention, I devoured an entire month’s worth of shopping. (The price we pay for keeping bad company😂)
So What Actually Helped?
I stumbled upon an Instagram clip of a lady who posted daily videos of herself reading affirmations. For her, it was a form of healing, I think she had just broken up with her long-time boyfriend aki wababa. Every morning and evening, she would repeat statements like: “I am enough. I am not in control. I am beautiful. I am smart and so many others.
Out of curiosity, I said to myself let me try it. At first, I felt ridiculous. Why would a fully grown human being like me stand in front of a mirror, reciting words that made zero sense? But over time, little by little, it started clicking and I challenged myself to 21 days of affirmations, remember they say if you can do it for 21 days then it becomes a habit. So every day, whether I felt like it or not I did it, sometimes I would even say them with her. And guess what? with time things started to change, my sleep patterns started improving, even if just by an hour.
Why Affirmations Work
Affirmations are positive statements that help challenge negative thoughts and reinforce self-belief. They rewire your brain by encouraging a more optimistic mindset, reducing self-doubt, and improving self-esteem.
My First Words of Affirmation
- I am focusing on right now.
- I can handle whatever comes.
- I am accepting things as they are.
- I am letting them be.
- I am learning from this experience.
- I am grateful for what I have right now.
- I am taking deep breaths to stay calm.
- I am letting go of what I can’t control.
I would repeat these every morning and evening, and even in moments of frustration — whether it was a rude matatu guy, a family member, my boss, a colleague, or a friend. I had every word memorized. This worked for me, and I hope it helps you too, especially if you’re going through a tough time where life just isn’t lifing and your mental health is in the pits.
My biggest lesson is that everything begins and ends in the mind. What you choose to give power to will have power over you — if you allow it.
So try this, create words that resonate with you, words that are simple yet meaningful. Affirm them daily and remind yourself of the power you hold within.
My Book Of The Month:
I am currently reading two books at the same time, yes, sounds crazy: What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey and Let Them By Mel Robbins
What are you reading?
Till next time, adios!
Love & Light, Pro ✨🤍
